I'm back! Enough so to catch up with the blog for today's update. Today was a painful one, but it all felt like "healing" pain and I made a lot of progress otherwise. All my bowel functions are working again, though it took some painful tries to get all the muscles used to the effort again. As a result, I spent this morning pretty deep inside my inner box, the place I go to get through difficult times. Kind of like the kid in the movie "Martian Boy", who just peeked out through a hole in a box.
Every day is better than the last one. Every part of my body and spirit are showing recovery. All I need now is for time to pass, for healing to continue, and to keep taking steps on the road.
The next scheduled event is a visit with the surgeon on next Thursday. I'm hoping he will take this drain out and pronounce me done with this part. Some time soon I will meet with the oncologist to determine when to get back on chemo, and then with the colon surgeon to work out some idea of when to do the next one. It should go easier than this one, but I'm sure it will not be a picnic. After that a little radiation, some final chemo just to be sure, and that's all they have planned.
In the meantime, days go by, one healing day at a time.
Clem
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Long Day's Night
Rest finally came to us at 5:00 am this morning. Clem just couldn't get settled and the pain was just too overwhelming for sleep. I totally understand how people become addicted to pain meds. My husband is totally anti medication and he turned into Jack Nicholas from the Shining last night when I refused to give him his meds early.
I realize that I haven't described his incision. It starts underneath his diaphragm level with his left nipple and extends across his chest and under his right arm. It is truly a beautiful thing! The skin surface has been super glued together so it looks neat and tidy and has never had a dressing covering it. Underneath his arm he has the famous "grenade" drain which is as much of a complication indicator as a drain. We are looking for anything green or dark brown to exit and this is an early warning sign that something is wrong with his bile ducts. Leaky bile ducts are bad! This is a major complication that can result in very bad infection so it is very important that it is there. Basically there is a tube that is snaked around inside his tender surgery site and exits under his arm. As you can guess this is a major source of pain right now.
I finally convinced Clem to try ice on the exit site last night as a final effort to pass enough time for more meds. Amazingly after some coaching on breathing, relaxing and how to break the pain cycle he fell asleep for an hour and a half. At 5:00 we ate a small snack, loaded him up with pain killers, placed a new ice pack, and astonishingly woke up at 11:00. Six hours of uninterrupted sleep!!!!! He looks like a new man right now sitting on the sofa returning emails and has had no pain medication this morning. Jess is feeding him non-stop and there appears to be no sign of the dreaded nausea today.
What a fantastic morning. Rain on the roof, moderate temperature, and every window in my house reveals a view of nature instead of a roof top or parking lot. I think I am going to sit in the hot tub in the rain and attempt to ease the ache in my hips from sleeping in the floor for a few days. Our daughter and grandson have an infectious happiness that is a welcome replacement to the Hospital vampires coming in steadily for more blood. It is good to be home with the hardest part behind us.
I realize that I haven't described his incision. It starts underneath his diaphragm level with his left nipple and extends across his chest and under his right arm. It is truly a beautiful thing! The skin surface has been super glued together so it looks neat and tidy and has never had a dressing covering it. Underneath his arm he has the famous "grenade" drain which is as much of a complication indicator as a drain. We are looking for anything green or dark brown to exit and this is an early warning sign that something is wrong with his bile ducts. Leaky bile ducts are bad! This is a major complication that can result in very bad infection so it is very important that it is there. Basically there is a tube that is snaked around inside his tender surgery site and exits under his arm. As you can guess this is a major source of pain right now.
I finally convinced Clem to try ice on the exit site last night as a final effort to pass enough time for more meds. Amazingly after some coaching on breathing, relaxing and how to break the pain cycle he fell asleep for an hour and a half. At 5:00 we ate a small snack, loaded him up with pain killers, placed a new ice pack, and astonishingly woke up at 11:00. Six hours of uninterrupted sleep!!!!! He looks like a new man right now sitting on the sofa returning emails and has had no pain medication this morning. Jess is feeding him non-stop and there appears to be no sign of the dreaded nausea today.
What a fantastic morning. Rain on the roof, moderate temperature, and every window in my house reveals a view of nature instead of a roof top or parking lot. I think I am going to sit in the hot tub in the rain and attempt to ease the ache in my hips from sleeping in the floor for a few days. Our daughter and grandson have an infectious happiness that is a welcome replacement to the Hospital vampires coming in steadily for more blood. It is good to be home with the hardest part behind us.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Moving on down the road
The Doctor came in early took one look at Clem and asked if he was ready to go home. We had been discussing whether we thought it was smart to attempt to go home tomorrow so we suddenly found ourselves dropping back to punt. Looking around the cramped room and with the memories of lasts night constantly interrupted sleep fresh on our brains it only took seconds for Clem to say yes. So with a few written prescriptions and a list of brief instructions on what to have concerns about we decided to casually pack and move on down the road at a slow and lazy pace.
Somehow that plan never seemed to develop. I put Clem to bed and slowly started packing up. That was my first mistake. It was frustrating for him to watch me pack so inefficiently that he finally got out of bed and starting fussing over things himself. Next thing I know he's in the bathroom having a little session with the porcelain God and his pain level kicked up a few notches. This started a trend. Pain, nausea, stomach ache, bathroom, pain pills, nausea meds, and of course every time he nodded off for a little rest someone else came in to measure his urine output or mop his room with cherry flavored disinfectant.
We finally made a plan for me to slowly load our things into the truck, take a long rest, eat lunch, and then head home. Of course that did not happen because the battery was dead in our truck. I discovered this the night before but choose to deal with it later. So my parents came and we fought the little old ladies in the parking lot for a space beside the truck to jump it off. Did I mention that our water heater busted at the house this week too? Anyway, with that behind us I drove the truck home, unloaded our things, put dinner in the crock pot, and made my way back to the hospital to pick up Clem from his rest.
Lunch came and so did more nausea and more trips to the bathroom and a final attempt at a nap. Finally we had so many people come in we just said screw it let's bust out of this joint and we made a mad dash for the door. We were exhausted by the time we made it here but so excited at the possibility of uninterrupted rest that we immediately started preparing our little recovery nest.
Clem still cannot lie flat so I had to somehow incline the head of our bed. Clem needed a bath and wanted to wear clothes that covered his butt and gave a little more security to his "man parts" and I had an overwhelming urge to wash all the clothes, pillows, and blankets that had accumulated nasty illness germs in the hospital. After two hours we both found ourselves grumpy and exhausted. Fortunately Jessica made us a lovely dinner and Clem ate heartily and headed for the bed. He has been asleep now for two hours. I don't expect him to be back up unless he has some pain and I am hoping that the morning with find him refreshed and relaxed.
I too am excited for a good nights sleep and can't wait to crawl into the bed next to him. My dreams have been vivid and unsettling probably because of the lack of deep sleep and the disturbing noise going on all through the night. Clem has jokingly referred to my attitude as being "flinty" lately but I know that hard times are ahead and there can be little room for weepy girl emotions if I am going to help him through this. I think my dreams are also reflecting all the hysteria that I am keeping below the surface right now. Making him blow the tube, making him get in bed, making him get out of bed, and making him eat are all distasteful things to have to do to someone who you love so much and is in so much pain. Fortunately I have had this role three other times so I know that this is the right thing to do for him.
So many times I have wished that I was the one who was sick. I don't think this is so uncommon. It seems that it would be easier being the sick one but after watching Clem this week I am not so sure any more. He is walking a very tough road. I have always known that Clem was made of tough stuff but after this week I can honestly say that my husband is truly a mountain of a man.
Somehow that plan never seemed to develop. I put Clem to bed and slowly started packing up. That was my first mistake. It was frustrating for him to watch me pack so inefficiently that he finally got out of bed and starting fussing over things himself. Next thing I know he's in the bathroom having a little session with the porcelain God and his pain level kicked up a few notches. This started a trend. Pain, nausea, stomach ache, bathroom, pain pills, nausea meds, and of course every time he nodded off for a little rest someone else came in to measure his urine output or mop his room with cherry flavored disinfectant.
We finally made a plan for me to slowly load our things into the truck, take a long rest, eat lunch, and then head home. Of course that did not happen because the battery was dead in our truck. I discovered this the night before but choose to deal with it later. So my parents came and we fought the little old ladies in the parking lot for a space beside the truck to jump it off. Did I mention that our water heater busted at the house this week too? Anyway, with that behind us I drove the truck home, unloaded our things, put dinner in the crock pot, and made my way back to the hospital to pick up Clem from his rest.
Lunch came and so did more nausea and more trips to the bathroom and a final attempt at a nap. Finally we had so many people come in we just said screw it let's bust out of this joint and we made a mad dash for the door. We were exhausted by the time we made it here but so excited at the possibility of uninterrupted rest that we immediately started preparing our little recovery nest.
Clem still cannot lie flat so I had to somehow incline the head of our bed. Clem needed a bath and wanted to wear clothes that covered his butt and gave a little more security to his "man parts" and I had an overwhelming urge to wash all the clothes, pillows, and blankets that had accumulated nasty illness germs in the hospital. After two hours we both found ourselves grumpy and exhausted. Fortunately Jessica made us a lovely dinner and Clem ate heartily and headed for the bed. He has been asleep now for two hours. I don't expect him to be back up unless he has some pain and I am hoping that the morning with find him refreshed and relaxed.
I too am excited for a good nights sleep and can't wait to crawl into the bed next to him. My dreams have been vivid and unsettling probably because of the lack of deep sleep and the disturbing noise going on all through the night. Clem has jokingly referred to my attitude as being "flinty" lately but I know that hard times are ahead and there can be little room for weepy girl emotions if I am going to help him through this. I think my dreams are also reflecting all the hysteria that I am keeping below the surface right now. Making him blow the tube, making him get in bed, making him get out of bed, and making him eat are all distasteful things to have to do to someone who you love so much and is in so much pain. Fortunately I have had this role three other times so I know that this is the right thing to do for him.
So many times I have wished that I was the one who was sick. I don't think this is so uncommon. It seems that it would be easier being the sick one but after watching Clem this week I am not so sure any more. He is walking a very tough road. I have always known that Clem was made of tough stuff but after this week I can honestly say that my husband is truly a mountain of a man.
Can't keep a good man down
Doctor came in today and we are going home! I don't know what to say except this seems like a miracle to me. I'm a little concerned that I can keep him adequately comfortable but the idea of getting away from the hospital before he catches a nasty bug sounds like a good plan.
Thank you for all of your prayers. Everytime I read another email from you guys I realize what a wonderful man that I am married to and how lucky we are to have each other and such a great base of amazing friends and family.
Thank you for all of your prayers. Everytime I read another email from you guys I realize what a wonderful man that I am married to and how lucky we are to have each other and such a great base of amazing friends and family.
Monday, January 26, 2009
A quiet night at the campground
I don't know what happened but the the Boyscouts must have gone home yesterday. We both slept uninterrupted until the 5 a.m. vital signs and weigh in. Yep, they wake you up at 5 a.m. and ask you to get out of bed and be weighed! This morning Clem discovered that 8 pounds of fluid had slowly seeped out of his body through a drain he affectionately refers to as his "grenade". I guess I don't have to tell you that the distention in his belly is subsiding.
He is in a good mood and has a smile on his face this morning. The Doc is talking about releasing him on Wednesday if he continues to walk and learn to manage his pain. He got out of bed by himself this morning while I was passed out in fetal position on my therma rest in the floor. I can tell that he is significantly better because he is reading all the instsructions on all the equipment and all the labels on all the food and playing with all the knobs and dials and poking his fingers in to all the nooks and crannies and wanting to take a bath and bitching about his leg wraps and rearranging everything on his bedside table.
He ate a banana this morning! He told me that he was happy to take his food intake slowly so I watched him consume it in three bites instead of two. The Doctor told him he could eat anything he wanted and if he wanted something outside of the hospital he could have that too. He told the Doctor that someone had already brought him a great Gun Magazine. I don't think that the he attempted to eat that magazine but he has been doing and saying some strange things on the morphine.
He has his phone 423-304-3102 in the pouch in front of his fashionable gown. It will be great if you call. While talking ask him if he has blown into his tube today? Yesterday he did not blow and the protocol calls for ten times every hour. I took the chicken way out this morning and told his nurse to chastise him. This keeps pneumonia at bay and of course it is tough to do and Clem thinks he is breathing just fine. I thought he was going to stuff the tube up my nose this morning when I suggested it...again! Someone has to do it!
He is working on the fourth and final post surgery task which involves sitting in the bathroom for long periods of time. I think they filled him full of gas when they did the laproscopy and it has yet to find a way out of the maze. He is suffering with that now so until I make a post otherwise I am asking you to wait just a bit longer to visit. It is hard to "concentrate" with visitors sitting on the other side of the door.
UPDATE: We got the bath but things have gone a bit sour since. Nothing serious just nausea, a little vomiting, and stomach ache. It appears the gas from the laproscopy is rolling around inside his tender guts and causing him frustration and pain. Got him back into the bed exhausted and he is trying to nap a while. I am sure we will pass this hurdle too. Good news is pain is much better. If we can get the plumbing kick started again I think we can do the rest at home!!!
I'm napping too now. Love to you all.
He is in a good mood and has a smile on his face this morning. The Doc is talking about releasing him on Wednesday if he continues to walk and learn to manage his pain. He got out of bed by himself this morning while I was passed out in fetal position on my therma rest in the floor. I can tell that he is significantly better because he is reading all the instsructions on all the equipment and all the labels on all the food and playing with all the knobs and dials and poking his fingers in to all the nooks and crannies and wanting to take a bath and bitching about his leg wraps and rearranging everything on his bedside table.
He ate a banana this morning! He told me that he was happy to take his food intake slowly so I watched him consume it in three bites instead of two. The Doctor told him he could eat anything he wanted and if he wanted something outside of the hospital he could have that too. He told the Doctor that someone had already brought him a great Gun Magazine. I don't think that the he attempted to eat that magazine but he has been doing and saying some strange things on the morphine.
He has his phone 423-304-3102 in the pouch in front of his fashionable gown. It will be great if you call. While talking ask him if he has blown into his tube today? Yesterday he did not blow and the protocol calls for ten times every hour. I took the chicken way out this morning and told his nurse to chastise him. This keeps pneumonia at bay and of course it is tough to do and Clem thinks he is breathing just fine. I thought he was going to stuff the tube up my nose this morning when I suggested it...again! Someone has to do it!
He is working on the fourth and final post surgery task which involves sitting in the bathroom for long periods of time. I think they filled him full of gas when they did the laproscopy and it has yet to find a way out of the maze. He is suffering with that now so until I make a post otherwise I am asking you to wait just a bit longer to visit. It is hard to "concentrate" with visitors sitting on the other side of the door.
UPDATE: We got the bath but things have gone a bit sour since. Nothing serious just nausea, a little vomiting, and stomach ache. It appears the gas from the laproscopy is rolling around inside his tender guts and causing him frustration and pain. Got him back into the bed exhausted and he is trying to nap a while. I am sure we will pass this hurdle too. Good news is pain is much better. If we can get the plumbing kick started again I think we can do the rest at home!!!
I'm napping too now. Love to you all.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Doing Hard Time
The epidural came out today around 2:00. By 4:30 Clem was in pretty serious pain despite the percocets which seemed like a wimpy substitute to me. After holding out for a little too long he finally complained and now he has a morphine pump at his disposal for a few days. It made a huge difference!!
We finally got the pain down enough to walk down the hall plus three extra rooms. The goal is to do more everyday even if it seems small. This has probably been his toughest day so far and I am hopeful that he will have a good nights sleep with the supplement of a few oral pain meds just before lights out.
Give him just a few more days and I think he will be able to tolerate visitors. His abdomen is still quite distended and the Doctor said that in a few days he would learn how to move without triggering the pain so intensely. I am pleased the Doc started the day with a Don't Be Discouraged talk because it was obvious that Clem was not expecting what hit him this afternoon. He continually repeats his Uncle Tom's advice and attempts to just let time pass. Today though was some hard time.
We finally got the pain down enough to walk down the hall plus three extra rooms. The goal is to do more everyday even if it seems small. This has probably been his toughest day so far and I am hopeful that he will have a good nights sleep with the supplement of a few oral pain meds just before lights out.
Give him just a few more days and I think he will be able to tolerate visitors. His abdomen is still quite distended and the Doctor said that in a few days he would learn how to move without triggering the pain so intensely. I am pleased the Doc started the day with a Don't Be Discouraged talk because it was obvious that Clem was not expecting what hit him this afternoon. He continually repeats his Uncle Tom's advice and attempts to just let time pass. Today though was some hard time.
Dazed and Confused
Thank God I brought ear plugs!! Clem has that trusty and always effective morphine pump to put him down into the deep bowels of sleep but I laid in the recliner last night until 1:00 listening to the lady next door talk to Miss Lucile. She walked out in front of our door in order to be courteous to her sleeping relative and somehow instead of engaging her with my famous "flying bitch slap" I got sucked into a late night conversation between two elder southern black ladies. When I finally realized that I had no control of where my ears were taking me I fished out my trusty ear plugs and suddenly my world got very small and still.
I also realized last night that an extended stay at a hospital is much like a long term camping trip at a state park. The only thing that seems to be missing is the gaudy rv lights and the coolers full of beer. I wonder if we aren't in the primitive camp ground and some where in the maze of rooms here is the uppity hook up sites with the complimentary club house. At any rate I am happy to have my camping skills to draw upon while our stay here. I am contemplating setting up our two man tent complete with therma rests and our light weight bags. I haven't measured this unbearably uncomfortable recliner but I am pretty sure that their footprints are similar.
We slept last night in 45 minute increments. There is still a lot of checking, emptying, and measuring going on constantly. We had to discuss what we think actually happened last night vs. what we may have dreamed. When the Doctor came in at 8:00 Clem made some stupid comment about loving to hear the sound of his voice and the Doc just roared. I'm not sure he remembers that and I will probably just let that one go. At any rate he received a glowing report with cautions about becoming discouraged about his lack of energy. Afterwards more tubes were removed, he gave himself a bath, changed his fashionable gown, and is bunked down for the day. I am contemplating barracading the door or pasting a quarantine sign with a photo of a pustule coated face in order to keep the weaker ones out!
So...the news is that Clem is very exhausted but medically performing miraculously. Today he is too tired to read. On a scale of one to ten that is a ten. Today will probably not be a great day to visit because he could really use some sleep. It would be great if you could post a comment or send an email because he loves to hear from you. Love you all.
I also realized last night that an extended stay at a hospital is much like a long term camping trip at a state park. The only thing that seems to be missing is the gaudy rv lights and the coolers full of beer. I wonder if we aren't in the primitive camp ground and some where in the maze of rooms here is the uppity hook up sites with the complimentary club house. At any rate I am happy to have my camping skills to draw upon while our stay here. I am contemplating setting up our two man tent complete with therma rests and our light weight bags. I haven't measured this unbearably uncomfortable recliner but I am pretty sure that their footprints are similar.
We slept last night in 45 minute increments. There is still a lot of checking, emptying, and measuring going on constantly. We had to discuss what we think actually happened last night vs. what we may have dreamed. When the Doctor came in at 8:00 Clem made some stupid comment about loving to hear the sound of his voice and the Doc just roared. I'm not sure he remembers that and I will probably just let that one go. At any rate he received a glowing report with cautions about becoming discouraged about his lack of energy. Afterwards more tubes were removed, he gave himself a bath, changed his fashionable gown, and is bunked down for the day. I am contemplating barracading the door or pasting a quarantine sign with a photo of a pustule coated face in order to keep the weaker ones out!
So...the news is that Clem is very exhausted but medically performing miraculously. Today he is too tired to read. On a scale of one to ten that is a ten. Today will probably not be a great day to visit because he could really use some sleep. It would be great if you could post a comment or send an email because he loves to hear from you. Love you all.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Have you ambulated today?
Well it seems that they couldn't justify keeping Clem in the ICU any more and today around 4:30p.m. they wheeled him and his belongings out into a room. Actually it is more like a very big closet but considering that we have lived for months at a time in our little Casita this feels quite spaceous.
There seems to be three very tough hurdles in the recovery trek from surgery. 1. ) getting out of bed and sitting up for the first time, 2) peeing on your own after the catheter is removed, and 3) the first walk down the hall. I have already described the dreaded first sitting. The peeing thing came fairly easy because the massive influx of iv fluids had to come out somewhere and the constant treat of recatherization was serious motivation. However, he really didn't think walking down the hall today was in his best interest even though the only sign in his room stated, HAVE YOU AMBULATED TODAY?
I thought the sign should actually say...YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF THAT BED AND WALK DOWN THE HALL FOR THE FIRST TIME WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THAT EPIDURAL IN YOUR BACK KEEPING MOST OF THE PAIN AT BAY! but it didn't. His cute little nurse however did come in and read the Doctor's instructions to walk down the hall this afternoon and of course Clem is going to follow all instructions especially if he has to report his success back to a cute little nurse. I am happy to report at this time which is Saturday 9:00 p.m. est, approximately 72 hours after major liver surgery, Clem has successfully received and been presented with his post surgery certification.
On a more informative note. Clem is in room 504. He loves having company and would love to hear or see you. It would be nice if you could call in advance for a few days to see if he is up to your visit and to make sure he has not been overwhelmed with guests. Even though he is improving miraculously he does need lots of rest and for those of you who have been in the hospital before you know that it does not always come easy here.
Thank you again for all the texts, emails, and calls. They mean so much to him. We love you all.
There seems to be three very tough hurdles in the recovery trek from surgery. 1. ) getting out of bed and sitting up for the first time, 2) peeing on your own after the catheter is removed, and 3) the first walk down the hall. I have already described the dreaded first sitting. The peeing thing came fairly easy because the massive influx of iv fluids had to come out somewhere and the constant treat of recatherization was serious motivation. However, he really didn't think walking down the hall today was in his best interest even though the only sign in his room stated, HAVE YOU AMBULATED TODAY?
I thought the sign should actually say...YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF THAT BED AND WALK DOWN THE HALL FOR THE FIRST TIME WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THAT EPIDURAL IN YOUR BACK KEEPING MOST OF THE PAIN AT BAY! but it didn't. His cute little nurse however did come in and read the Doctor's instructions to walk down the hall this afternoon and of course Clem is going to follow all instructions especially if he has to report his success back to a cute little nurse. I am happy to report at this time which is Saturday 9:00 p.m. est, approximately 72 hours after major liver surgery, Clem has successfully received and been presented with his post surgery certification.
On a more informative note. Clem is in room 504. He loves having company and would love to hear or see you. It would be nice if you could call in advance for a few days to see if he is up to your visit and to make sure he has not been overwhelmed with guests. Even though he is improving miraculously he does need lots of rest and for those of you who have been in the hospital before you know that it does not always come easy here.
Thank you again for all the texts, emails, and calls. They mean so much to him. We love you all.
Clem finally gets his football letter sweater
His Mom said Clem did not play organized sports in High School because they didn't realize he could not see until he was almost twelve. Of course by that time all the future Olympic athletes had been in training for eleven years and it was just too tough to catch up. So Clem decided to take a different route (surprise) and he joined the RIFLE TEAM. Duh!! Who wouldn't want to legitimately own and shoot weapons as a young boy in Alabama where everyone gets their first 22 rifle on their tenth birthday? Anyway it was always a joke around our house because he has this crazy letter sweater emblazoned with a Rifle Team crest. (I know this sounds alot like a slow dull trip down memory lane but there is a crescendo.)
After surgery the Doctor informed us that he had removed a massive tumor. Following a brief review of the arduous medical procedure he completed his report with a review of Clem's excellent prognosis. While Faffy and I attempted to absorb this unbelievable report the Doctor very quickly asked us if we had any questions and we of course said NO. What more was there to know...Clem was going to be okay. However, we have since learned that everyone wants to know all the ghorry details of other people's misfortunes and Clem was called upon this morning to find out just what "massive" means in relationship to livers, tumors, and surgeons.
Five of us set to make a list of questions for Clem to ask the Doctor this morning because he kept forgetting all of his questions in his drug induced state. We weren't sure that we could make a meaningful description out of the anticipated gram weight so we prepared a check list that would compare his tumor size to certain size sports balls. Of course everyone has heard of someone who has had either a grapefuit or a baseball size tumor so we thought it would make transferring the information more ammenable to the general population. Stephanie informed us that the liver weighs 3
pounds so our list started at golf ball and ended at football just because we got carried away.
And the winner was.....FOOTBALL!!!! Not just an ordinary football which weighs 14 to 15 ounces but a 7 pound football! Can you believe that? Did he look like a man who had a 7 pound foreign object stuffed into a space where it could not possibily fit? At any rate after we all rolled our tongues back in our mouths and chatted up what a great medical story this was going to make we decided that it was time to present him with the much sought after and much deserved famous football team crest for his High School Letter Sweater.
Clem, Clem he's our man if he can't do it nobody can!!
(Do I have too much time on my hands or what?)
After surgery the Doctor informed us that he had removed a massive tumor. Following a brief review of the arduous medical procedure he completed his report with a review of Clem's excellent prognosis. While Faffy and I attempted to absorb this unbelievable report the Doctor very quickly asked us if we had any questions and we of course said NO. What more was there to know...Clem was going to be okay. However, we have since learned that everyone wants to know all the ghorry details of other people's misfortunes and Clem was called upon this morning to find out just what "massive" means in relationship to livers, tumors, and surgeons.
Five of us set to make a list of questions for Clem to ask the Doctor this morning because he kept forgetting all of his questions in his drug induced state. We weren't sure that we could make a meaningful description out of the anticipated gram weight so we prepared a check list that would compare his tumor size to certain size sports balls. Of course everyone has heard of someone who has had either a grapefuit or a baseball size tumor so we thought it would make transferring the information more ammenable to the general population. Stephanie informed us that the liver weighs 3
pounds so our list started at golf ball and ended at football just because we got carried away.
And the winner was.....FOOTBALL!!!! Not just an ordinary football which weighs 14 to 15 ounces but a 7 pound football! Can you believe that? Did he look like a man who had a 7 pound foreign object stuffed into a space where it could not possibily fit? At any rate after we all rolled our tongues back in our mouths and chatted up what a great medical story this was going to make we decided that it was time to present him with the much sought after and much deserved famous football team crest for his High School Letter Sweater.
Clem, Clem he's our man if he can't do it nobody can!!
(Do I have too much time on my hands or what?)
Friday, January 23, 2009
24 hours later
That man is amazing. He sat up in a chair for an hour today, got a bath, washed his hair, had his first meal, and is finishing the fourth book of the "Twilight" series. Of course he stil has the morphine pump at his disposal and an epidural in his back which I am sure has aided his speedy recovery. The surgeon is incredibly pleased with his outcome and his recovery. The Doctor plans to move him into a room in the next two days if he continues on his current track.
I will keep everyone posted when this happens and when he lets me know that he feels like having a few visitors. I would appreciate a call if you plan to stop by just so I make sure that you actually get a visit in between all the many procedures. Thanks again for all the many emails, notes, and calls. We love you and can't wait to be out and about again.
I will keep everyone posted when this happens and when he lets me know that he feels like having a few visitors. I would appreciate a call if you plan to stop by just so I make sure that you actually get a visit in between all the many procedures. Thanks again for all the many emails, notes, and calls. We love you and can't wait to be out and about again.
OOB (Out of bed) Middle of the night 1/23
I couldn't remember her name but I could never forget her hair. I had met her briefly when I visited the ICU earlier in the evening and she assured me that Clem was doing well even though he was sweating bullets and rambling on about swimming in a pool inside a volcano in the Phillipines once. She was shaking me repeatedly while I was passed out in fetal position in the green pleather recliner in the waiting room. Sleep had come on hard and fast even though the lights would not turn off and the television next door was playing the 24 hour "Sponge Bob Square Pants" channel and now my brain couldn't seem to rise to attention. At first I thought I was dreaming but her persistence in rousing me finally reached a synapses that was capable of sparking and I found myself weaving down the hall to the ICU in a dreamlike state.
Clem was getting out of the bed for the first time and he wanted me to come and sit with him. Having had major surgery myself I understood the significance of this first upright movement. Many people pass out or vomit during this time and of course I wouldn't want to miss that. He was already in the chair when I came in and he motioned for me to wiggle up onto the bed facing his chair. I thought you might get a kick out of seeing this he said just as if he were trying out a new type of rope technique that I might be interested in. Little boys never seem to get over having their mommies come and watch them do something amazing do they?
I think he may have been there 7 to 10 minutes when all his monitors and the color of his skin indicated that his body was about to panic. He and the nurse almost simultaneously decided that it was time for the monumental event to come to an end and he stood and tried to get back into the bed amongst the tangled tubing. For some reason when he lifted his right foot in order to drag a tube underneath his vomit reflex was triggered and he cringed and murmured "nausea".
The nurse darted out the door which seemed a bit unusual as Clem turned pale and started desperately to mentally keep any spasm from happened around his recently assaulted diaphragm. Fortunately his mental signals queled the painful event and he leaned back in a tangled heap closing his eyes and attempting to slow his breathing. Wow! I had never seen this man battle like this even on the toughest climb or the smallest hole in the ground. As the nurse ran back in the door with the supersized vomit basin Clem looked up at me with a look that acknowledged what we both already knew...he had made it past the first crux.
Clem was getting out of the bed for the first time and he wanted me to come and sit with him. Having had major surgery myself I understood the significance of this first upright movement. Many people pass out or vomit during this time and of course I wouldn't want to miss that. He was already in the chair when I came in and he motioned for me to wiggle up onto the bed facing his chair. I thought you might get a kick out of seeing this he said just as if he were trying out a new type of rope technique that I might be interested in. Little boys never seem to get over having their mommies come and watch them do something amazing do they?
I think he may have been there 7 to 10 minutes when all his monitors and the color of his skin indicated that his body was about to panic. He and the nurse almost simultaneously decided that it was time for the monumental event to come to an end and he stood and tried to get back into the bed amongst the tangled tubing. For some reason when he lifted his right foot in order to drag a tube underneath his vomit reflex was triggered and he cringed and murmured "nausea".
The nurse darted out the door which seemed a bit unusual as Clem turned pale and started desperately to mentally keep any spasm from happened around his recently assaulted diaphragm. Fortunately his mental signals queled the painful event and he leaned back in a tangled heap closing his eyes and attempting to slow his breathing. Wow! I had never seen this man battle like this even on the toughest climb or the smallest hole in the ground. As the nurse ran back in the door with the supersized vomit basin Clem looked up at me with a look that acknowledged what we both already knew...he had made it past the first crux.
The first viewing
I have never seen soooo many tubes coming out of one person! The NG tube and the multiple iv and arterial lines were expected but nothing quite prepared me for the poisonous pigmy dart sticking out of his neck like a high tech Frankenstein accessory. Bugged eyed and struggling to make both his eyes travel in the same direction Clem reassured us that he was doing just fine except for the scratchiness in his throat that he couldn't seem to tolerate. GET THAT MAN A SUCRETS!!
While I shoveled ice chips into his mouth he began to review all the different types of appliances that were working with or upon different parts of his body. Suprisingly he was most impressed with the vibrating leg wraps that intermittenly stimulated the circulation in his lower legs. Me...I thought the pain pump was a pretty handy tool to have around. In any case I was glad that he had "gear" to examine in order to distract him from the effects of the massive invasion that had just been made into his body.
Unsure if he would actually remember, I began to tell him all the good news. Little by little it seemed to sink in that the results that we have been wishing for actually had come to pass. It felt really great to be the bearer of good news for once.
While I shoveled ice chips into his mouth he began to review all the different types of appliances that were working with or upon different parts of his body. Suprisingly he was most impressed with the vibrating leg wraps that intermittenly stimulated the circulation in his lower legs. Me...I thought the pain pump was a pretty handy tool to have around. In any case I was glad that he had "gear" to examine in order to distract him from the effects of the massive invasion that had just been made into his body.
Unsure if he would actually remember, I began to tell him all the good news. Little by little it seemed to sink in that the results that we have been wishing for actually had come to pass. It felt really great to be the bearer of good news for once.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Cheated Death Again
After a five hour intense and intricate operation our surgeon successfully removed a very large tumor which had encapsulated Clem's entire right lobe. The results were even better than the Doctor thought possible because he removed the lobe with clear margins and no other visible sign of cancer.
This is the best possible news that we could hope for because this makes his possibilities of cure rise to 70% over 20%. Our oncologists has assured us that a successful liver resection would set the stage for a cure. Today is truly a big step forward in his recovery.
He will be in the Medical Intensive Care Unit on the fourth floor of Memorial Hospital while being monitored for complications. Afterwards we are expecting a stay for a week or more. Visiting hours are very sparse while in Intensive Care and we are expecting him to feel pretty crummy for the next week. I will post when he gets out in a room and feels like having visitors.
Thank you all so much for your prayers, love, and words of encouragement. We love you. My phone number is 423-838-2810.
Pam
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Once again, one more time
Ok, this is the final date, the last time, the "fer sure, fer real" date: Thursday, January 22nd at 8am.
The doc called to say he would be out of town after January 30th. "Sounds good to me", says I, but Pam was having none of it. She called them right back and gave the poor assistant all but a "flying bitch slap" and insisted on an earlier date so the doc would be here and handy throughout my hospital stay. (She'll be there just like in the movies, saying "If he dies, you go next..." and menacing the hospital staff with a pistol.) Just kidding!
Anyway, next week is the big week for me.
Watch for news on Thursday,
Clem
The doc called to say he would be out of town after January 30th. "Sounds good to me", says I, but Pam was having none of it. She called them right back and gave the poor assistant all but a "flying bitch slap" and insisted on an earlier date so the doc would be here and handy throughout my hospital stay. (She'll be there just like in the movies, saying "If he dies, you go next..." and menacing the hospital staff with a pistol.) Just kidding!
Anyway, next week is the big week for me.
Watch for news on Thursday,
Clem
Monday, January 12, 2009
"D" Day Redux
The visit with the surgeon went very well! Maybe I had a virus, or maybe it was just a come-and-go case of "tumor fever", but all of the tests and cultures came out negative. We're back on schedule with the plan of a laproscopic peek inside, then (assuming a clear view) a major liver resection.
The new date is January 27th (Tuesday) at 7am. I get to be there before 6am for admission and pre-op things.
After that, I can expect to be in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) for a few days, and then in a hospital bed for another several days, maybe two weeks total. There is the possibility of an early release for good behavior, if things go exceptionally well.
In the meantime, I am laying about the house, engorging on ice cream in an effort to gain weight. Just call me "the fatted calf" and I'll answer. It's been good having a little more time to get a few last things checked off the never-ending list, but I'm really ready to get on with it and continue progress.
Back to waiting...
The new date is January 27th (Tuesday) at 7am. I get to be there before 6am for admission and pre-op things.
After that, I can expect to be in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) for a few days, and then in a hospital bed for another several days, maybe two weeks total. There is the possibility of an early release for good behavior, if things go exceptionally well.
In the meantime, I am laying about the house, engorging on ice cream in an effort to gain weight. Just call me "the fatted calf" and I'll answer. It's been good having a little more time to get a few last things checked off the never-ending list, but I'm really ready to get on with it and continue progress.
Back to waiting...
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Last-Minute Delay
Ok, time to "fess up." It's not all just beer and skittles around here all the time. Over the last two weeks I've been feeling worse and worse, though (being off the chemo) I had hoped to feel better and better. Yes, that did piss me off a touch.
The plan was to do the liver surgery tomorrow (Wednesday, the 7th), but now that plan's been changed. I went in on Monday to inform the surgeon that I'd had a low-grade fever for the previous 5 nights or so. He sent me over to the oncologist, who prescribed a battery of tests that kept me at the hospital most of yesterday and half of today. (Blood, urine, more blood, ultrasound, x-ray, and physical exams.) All the preliminary tests came out clean, but the infection test evidently takes 5 days to get the final result. The upshot is, surgery tomorrow is cancelled, I'll meet with the surgeon on Monday, January 11th to reschedule, and we'll go from there.
The oncologist thinks that what I'm feeling is "tumor fever", which is the body's natural response to handling a dying foreign mass like my tumors. Nothing really wrong, it just makes me feel achy and weak and really tired all the time. Lovely.
Even so, if this is as bad as it gets, then I'll consider myself super-lucky and take it with a grin. It's a forced grin some evenings, but a grin nonetheless.
Now to re-schedule the rest of my life...
Clem
The plan was to do the liver surgery tomorrow (Wednesday, the 7th), but now that plan's been changed. I went in on Monday to inform the surgeon that I'd had a low-grade fever for the previous 5 nights or so. He sent me over to the oncologist, who prescribed a battery of tests that kept me at the hospital most of yesterday and half of today. (Blood, urine, more blood, ultrasound, x-ray, and physical exams.) All the preliminary tests came out clean, but the infection test evidently takes 5 days to get the final result. The upshot is, surgery tomorrow is cancelled, I'll meet with the surgeon on Monday, January 11th to reschedule, and we'll go from there.
The oncologist thinks that what I'm feeling is "tumor fever", which is the body's natural response to handling a dying foreign mass like my tumors. Nothing really wrong, it just makes me feel achy and weak and really tired all the time. Lovely.
Even so, if this is as bad as it gets, then I'll consider myself super-lucky and take it with a grin. It's a forced grin some evenings, but a grin nonetheless.
Now to re-schedule the rest of my life...
Clem
Thursday, January 1, 2009
How's the serenity?
This chapter's title comes from a funny, quirky Australian movie called "The Castle." Our resident Aussie Rosemary turned us on to it and it's a wonderful movie, if you're into Australian humour. It's a bit like British humour, but drier and funny. Anyway, the lead character finds his serenity at his country house, called Bonny Doon.
Over the last couple of months, and going in to the turbulent next few weeks, my serenity has been remarkably well. I have been speculating on it a bit, so here's what I have thought:
As a mountain climber, caver, or rope access technician I have to suspend the very reasonable fears that working and moving in scary, exposed places entails. It's not that the fear isn't there, it's that I've done what I can to mitigate the dangers and accepted the rest. I've been doing that sort of thing for more than 30 years now, in the outdoors. Perhaps those same skills are coming to play in my current situation, too. I have researched the options, mitigated the hazards as best I can, and now it's time to "knuckle down, buckle down, do it do it do it." (Thank you, Roger Miller.)
Pam has not been so fortunate. She gets worried more than I do, expresses it more than I do, and spends more energy searching for her serenity. That said, she has been a huge reserve of strength and support for me. I hope that I can give her back the same energy and help her through this as she helps me.
It's a bit surreal being on "this side" of such well-wishes. I've never been in hospital before for anything other than a checkup. People don't know how to handle it, or what to say, but everyone I've spoken with has had nothing but positive, helpful things to tell me. Such energy helps me with my attidude; helps me keep those dark fears at bay. Thank you all for every card, email, prayer, comment, phone call and text message, and for those big hugs in person. It all helps, believe me.
Whoops, I'm getting overly sentimental again! Time to go and run some power tools in the "man pad", that is always cheery. Serenity! Vroom...vroom...
Over the last couple of months, and going in to the turbulent next few weeks, my serenity has been remarkably well. I have been speculating on it a bit, so here's what I have thought:
As a mountain climber, caver, or rope access technician I have to suspend the very reasonable fears that working and moving in scary, exposed places entails. It's not that the fear isn't there, it's that I've done what I can to mitigate the dangers and accepted the rest. I've been doing that sort of thing for more than 30 years now, in the outdoors. Perhaps those same skills are coming to play in my current situation, too. I have researched the options, mitigated the hazards as best I can, and now it's time to "knuckle down, buckle down, do it do it do it." (Thank you, Roger Miller.)
Pam has not been so fortunate. She gets worried more than I do, expresses it more than I do, and spends more energy searching for her serenity. That said, she has been a huge reserve of strength and support for me. I hope that I can give her back the same energy and help her through this as she helps me.
It's a bit surreal being on "this side" of such well-wishes. I've never been in hospital before for anything other than a checkup. People don't know how to handle it, or what to say, but everyone I've spoken with has had nothing but positive, helpful things to tell me. Such energy helps me with my attidude; helps me keep those dark fears at bay. Thank you all for every card, email, prayer, comment, phone call and text message, and for those big hugs in person. It all helps, believe me.
Whoops, I'm getting overly sentimental again! Time to go and run some power tools in the "man pad", that is always cheery. Serenity! Vroom...vroom...
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