This chapter's title comes from a funny, quirky Australian movie called "The Castle." Our resident Aussie Rosemary turned us on to it and it's a wonderful movie, if you're into Australian humour. It's a bit like British humour, but drier and funny. Anyway, the lead character finds his serenity at his country house, called Bonny Doon.
Over the last couple of months, and going in to the turbulent next few weeks, my serenity has been remarkably well. I have been speculating on it a bit, so here's what I have thought:
As a mountain climber, caver, or rope access technician I have to suspend the very reasonable fears that working and moving in scary, exposed places entails. It's not that the fear isn't there, it's that I've done what I can to mitigate the dangers and accepted the rest. I've been doing that sort of thing for more than 30 years now, in the outdoors. Perhaps those same skills are coming to play in my current situation, too. I have researched the options, mitigated the hazards as best I can, and now it's time to "knuckle down, buckle down, do it do it do it." (Thank you, Roger Miller.)
Pam has not been so fortunate. She gets worried more than I do, expresses it more than I do, and spends more energy searching for her serenity. That said, she has been a huge reserve of strength and support for me. I hope that I can give her back the same energy and help her through this as she helps me.
It's a bit surreal being on "this side" of such well-wishes. I've never been in hospital before for anything other than a checkup. People don't know how to handle it, or what to say, but everyone I've spoken with has had nothing but positive, helpful things to tell me. Such energy helps me with my attidude; helps me keep those dark fears at bay. Thank you all for every card, email, prayer, comment, phone call and text message, and for those big hugs in person. It all helps, believe me.
Whoops, I'm getting overly sentimental again! Time to go and run some power tools in the "man pad", that is always cheery. Serenity! Vroom...vroom...
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3 comments:
Sounds like you're hanging in there, big guy. I'm thinking about you, with your first surgery coming up in just a couple of days. Let Pam know I'm thinking about her too. Sometimes it is harder to be on the "outside" than on the "inside". I reckon she loves ya, man! She is one of your many blessings.
Warm thoughts,
Susan
Hanging in there as best I can. Went by the doc's today for a final check-up and passed it, so it's "on" for Wednesday. I have to get an X-ray and ultrasound in the morning and then it's cuttin' time on Wednesday.
Pam's hanging in there somehow. She is a trooper in the very best sense of the word.
Cheers!
Clem
dearest clem
its so good to have this blog to know your progress. me and irish ( especially me though..ha ha ) have been thinking of you and pam constantly since hagey broke the news to me. but its so inspiring to learn that you are so positive and brave and humourous about it all.. very inspiring indeed,you have to come out of all this nonsense and show us what good example you have led.
i will be thinking of you and praying for you hard tomorrow.
good luck and you know you have an army of friends behind and around you....
love to you both.
maria in dublin
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